The first and last time I'll own a Daimler anything

The pram has arrived, and it's huge. Plus the car seat and base doohickey that fits into the car.

On the car seat, I particularly like the labels warning you to replace it if you have even a minor crash, on the grounds that it may longer provide the protection you need. Same warning, only in stricter tone, as you find on crash helmets. I mean, I understand that if you have polished the tarmac with your head after flying off a motorbike you might want a new bonce bin. But a baby's car seat *inside* a car *always* needs replacing? Oh Yes.

Besides, I fell off my moped, daredevil that I am, when I was 17. And then again when I was 18. Even now I can summon up the drumming sound as my head bounced along the road and the smart plastic visor was scuffed to opacity. Kept the helmet. And the visor (which probably accounted for the second accident). While my pride was dented, the moped, a Steyr Daimler Puch Maxi, was not. German engineering for you. The company now makes tanks that actually look like tanks. http://www.steyr-ssf.com/

Anyway, back to baby prams and seats. Where will we store them? Under the stairs? Behind the kitchen door? In the hall, ready for everyone to fall over and curse? (Much comic potential, come to think of it.)

We're going to need a bigger house. And that's the first and last time I'll own a Daimler anything.