Homeopathy or hospital?

Another exciting trip to the hosp, this time because the rash on her tummy is *very* raw. My big sister, ie a person who Knows Everything and has a fast internet connection, says it might be PUPPP syndrome - yessiree, a syndrome, no less. PP herself thinks it might be a reaction to drinking raspberry leaf tea, the only obvious change to her diet.

To cure the rash, the midwives recommended Piriton tablets, or calamine lotion, both of which PP refused on the grounds that she only takes homeopathic medicines, my favourite subject.

Yes, PP has been pill-popping various chalk tablets with fancy names, some of them recent additions to the intake. Even the raspberry leaf tea label has the most amazing twaddle on it.

As we approach drop day, I suspect all of this will vanish when it's a choice between stinging like buggery or gas & air...

Pic from http://www.nutrasanus.com/ - which I completely misread.

Tasers in Childbirth

Tried the TENS machine. Awesome. Two AA batteries whack out enough of a jolt to make your muscles twitch uncontrollably. Think of sticking a PP3 battery on your tongue, except over an arm or leg. The sensation is not unlike a sneeze, and exactly like touching a cattle fence.

The TENS theory is that the shock encourages the body to produce endorphins, which mask the pain for the mother. In practice, especially if you set it to turbo boost (yes, except cars, everything has a turbo version), the TENS shocks raise the total sensory input so high that the body's receptors simply shut down.

Why does the heading Tasers in Childbirth spring to mind? Pic is from the excellent site, http://www.tbotech.com/advancedtaser.htm, where I discover that the Taser, too, is powered by AA batteries...

You might end up trying this at home

The latest pain game at NCT was to stick your fingers in your mouth, and pull it sideways as hard as you could. Amid much hilarity, the conclusion was that it makes your lips sting like buggery, a suitably proximate word.

Small hole, big head. Ouch.

Larger than the top of a jar of gobstoppers

Second NCT class last night, with more about pain, pain management, pain relief and pain. And did I mention pain?

Life-size drawings give you and idea: without being too indelicate, it certainly looks as if it will sting a bit. The course leader held up a plastic thingy showing the size of the normal cervix, with a central hole you could just about fit a pencil into... followed by a 10cm diameter disc, representing a fully dilated cervix. In real money, that's larger than the top of a jar of gobstoppers. And gobstopping pretty much sums it up.

The NCT classes are turning out to be quite a riot. The men trying to make suggestions other than beer, being somewhere else and general hilarity, the women listening intently and ignoring all the pain stuff.

Pregnancy is turning into reality, little by little. When I know how I feel about it, I'll start writing about it.

Pic from the excellent http://www.sweetsncandy.co.uk/

Bedside mannerisms

Maternity ward visit this morning, led by a relaxed and friendly midwife (Eileath, I think). She started her pitch by saying something like "Welcome to the scariest place in the world." Bedside manner not her strong point.

For me, the tour was about orientation: which floor of the hospital wing, where the rooms are and the high-dependency units are, what the machines do and the permissible visiting times.

For her, it's all about the anxiety, the unknown, dealing with the emotions. Is it friendly, are the staff good, How Will It Be?

The midwife finished the tour by speaking about pain management: "You won't know what's hit you." She might work on that bedside manner a little...