Curry, pineapple, sex and Scorsese

Report flooding in from other pregnant blokes T and M: "Nada here. Curry, pineapple, champagne, sex, a Scorsese thriller, vigorous gardening = nothing" and "Nothing happening this end!"

(Martin Scorsese also directed "The King of Comedy." No-one is perfect.)

There ain't no sanity clause

First NCT class tonight, from 8-10pm. General view: excellent and enjoyable. Good to meet other blokes up the duff, so to speak, and hear what they really think. Not to mention that they are a cool bunch of people. The class main messages seemed to be:

• A plan never survives first contact with the enemy, though perhaps put in a slightly more caring, sharing manner


• There is going to be pain, a great deal of pain. We used to say (when I was younger and fitter) that pain is weakness coming out of the body. I managed not to blurt that out. Phew.


• It will all be OK, despite all our fears.

We agreed to a Confidentiality Clause, though not necessarily a Sanity Clause.

Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"

Pic from http://www.marx-brothers.org/ and countless other sites

Practically Perfect in Every Way

This afternoon the tank had run dry: I was wrong, the weather too hot, she was too tired, sleep was short and so were tempers... Yup, Stroppy Wife Syndrome.

Me? I'm Practically Perfect in Every Way. My dirty clothes are always in the basket, my shoes are always put away and everything she asks for is done in an instant. Oh Yes.

Smells of, smells of...

Great fun unwrapping the bottle feeding bumper pack. How often do you get to unpack a whole box full of gear, with mystifying components, oblique instructions and polyethylene plastic packaging that smells of .. smells of.. victory?

Having been brought up with Meccano and train sets, it was a strangely childlike experience to pull out the next gizmo and try to figure what it was for. Does the breast pump doohickey fit the storage container? Why is there a spare valve set? Can the teats be fitted to the other jars?

Too exciting for words.

Smells of, smells of... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078788/

Gas & Air

Trevor, a three-month-Dad, came round last night and gave me the inside story on the delivery of his little girl. They had a detailed birthing plan that went AWOL on first contact with the enemy. The only part that actually happened was him snipping the umbilical cord. True Dr Kildare stuff.

From a bloke's perspective, I think I picked up the key points, which are:

1 Say Yes to a drag on the Gas & Air. Hell, why should she have all the fun?
2 Unless you have a strong constitution or deliver babies for a living, stay clear of the business end
3 Take spare clothing and be prepared to smell
4 And it is all worth it, honest

I think point three is already fairly well covered by most blokes, and number two is fair enough; coming in at Number One, saying Yes to the Gas & Air, falls into the tip top tip category, to be tattooed on the inside of your eyelids.

PS And where do the towels and hot water come into it, then?

PPS Yaphet Kotto (see earlier entries) was in the original Thomas Crown Affair. Thought you might like to know. Kevin Bacon, anyone?

A tadge of indigestion

Last night, the conclusion of week 24, we could actually see Toblet kicking, punching and wriggling - strange ripples on the surface of Priti's bump. Even though it is very, very peculiar, she's not too freaked by it.

Every time I put my hand on the bump, the little bugger stops kicking. When I do feel it, it makes it very real, much easier to visualise that inside there is a baby cooking, waiting to pop out.

Looking at the bubbling belly, I thought it wise not to mention the original Alien flick with John Hurt experiencing a tadge of indigestion. (Ian Holm, one of the most watchable film actors ever, was also in Alien - and he seems to like sci-fi, with excellent performances in Time Bandits and The Fifth Element. Ian Holm is highly rated and yet is still hugely underrated, if you follow me, as is the late, great Ian Bannen, another giant favourite of mine.)

Image stolen from IMDb, http://imdb.com/title/tt0078748/ Yaphet Kotto, an outstanding actor, was also in Alien; he was waaaay better in Blue Collar.