Gritty, grumpy and realistic

"This is one man's month by month story of pregnancy from a bloke's point of view. It is full of helpful tips about what to expect from conception to delivery, and covers topics such as: His feelings about impending fatherhood; Coping with his partner’s mood swings and health crises; His changing relationship with his partner; Dealing with her morning sickness and her food cravings; Ultrasounds and baby school; Understanding the baby's development; A must-have book for all prospective parents, especially fathers-to-be, written with humour, sensitivity and hard-won wisdom."

Complete with jokey cover design, it sounds awful. How about "Pregnancy from a bloke's perspective, written by a normal man more interested in wetting the baby's head than vaginal secretions."

Gritty, grumpy and realistic. A bit like 'Life on Mars.' (I was at the same school as Philip Glenister, a brilliant actor even then, as was Simon Russell Beale - same school, brighter brilliance.)

Find 'Diary of a Pregnant Dad' at http://www.gazellebookservices.co.uk/ISBN/0975168002.htm

Women's health

Clearly, I am in a small, small minority. Take a look at http://www.babycrowd.com/ - choc a bloc with pregnancy blogs, and, in my highly scientific analysis using semi-stochastic randomised subsampling of the site (the first three pages of new blog listings), there were no male bloggers at all.

However, there is way to link to the site. The categories for the link include topics such as toys and clothing and so-on, with nothing suitable for a pregnantbloke. So I chose women's health.

Womens-Health.Co.Uk Visit Women's Health Information for comprehensive, up-to-date info about your body. Read up on pregnancy, infertility, PCOS, fibroids, endometriosis, birth control and more.


By the way, 25 weeks tomorrow.

Scrawny male models looking like moody tosssers

You couldn't make this stuff up: "FQ Magazine, The essential dad mag" and web strapline "Parenting magazine for new dads and single dads."
Why would new dads and single dads be grouped together, I wonder? Why does the promising link "Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy" http://www.fqmagazine.co.uk/blokes-pregnancy-guide-10.aspx take you to a dead end? Are they trying to tell me something?

The webmag version looks pretty good (click in the middle of the home page http://www.fqmagazine.co.uk/default.aspx), full of smart-looking articles. It must the devil's job filling a magazine like that every month, and full marks to the editor and team. (Can you tell I used to edit magazines? I share the pain.) It almost makes me want to buy a real copy, even if the fashion part is stuffed with pictures of scrawny male models looking like moody tosssers.

Is there a Grumpy Old Men magazine?

"Childbirth Solutions, bringing solutions to childbearing families."

I promise you I am not making this up: http://www.childbirthsolutions.com/ "Childbirth Solutions, bringing solutions to childbearing families."

Weeble for the bump

Not yet really a true pregnant bloke blog, http://www.gattancha.co.uk/blog/ has a certain charm. I particularly like the nickname Weeble for the bump.

Proper bloke's response to the news

Top bloke Bill, a father of two, has only recently heard of the impending arrival. He wrote "again many congrats on your great news. I suppose this should be forwarded to Priti, but as far as I can see, you've done all the hard work so far..."

Good work, fella.

Discovered: whenawomansuptheduff

Very smart blog: http://www.whenawomansuptheduff.blogspot.com/

Menstuff

This looked like an interesting site - until you actually get there: http://www.menstuff.org

Tooling around on the internet looking for pregnant bloke type things, most of the hits are for Jon Smith's "Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy." Good for him. Still haven't read it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blokes-Guide-Pregnancy-Jon-Smith/dp/140190288X

Complete travel system

Is it just me, or does the World of Prams not entice any bloke? We looked at mercifully few - sister-in-law with recent sprog having done the hard digging on research - and chose the Pilko Pramette. It is advertised as "can also be combined with the primo viaggio infant car seat to make a complete travel system."

Apart from the silly use of Italian, I would have thought that 'a complete travel system' would be an integrated rail network, or the hub and spoke of a global airline. In which case, £500 would be something of a bargain. Instead, our 'complete travel system' is actually a buggy and a baby car-seat that clips in. Apparently polka dots are all the thing this year.

Farting about in Mamas and Papas (excellent, I mean excellent staff) was great fun, and really brought the whole baby business home. Women of vary degrees of hugeness were teetering, floating or barging through the store. We tried not to gape. If you want to compare bumps and babies, head off to your local maternity store right now, it makes it all REAL!

Here in my car: Gary Numan

After the panic of Friday, a great weekend. Plenty of pottering, taking it easy, and general swelling.

More web site nonsense: www.greenbaby.co.uk and www.phpbaby.com and I am sure there are *thousands* more out there. To even things up, try www.willitblend.com And how about this: Gary Numan in The Times online http://women.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,27870-2308699,00.html

Here in my car. Oh yes.

Pregnant blokes, I salute you!

So many books! And this is just the stack on my end of the window-ledge! How many of them have I read so far?

On a brighter note, her morning sickness is beginning to clear up, which is a relief. I have no idea why it is called 'morning sickness.' Apparently it's more like being sea-sick; at any moment, ker-blooiee, off it goes. Women have a hard time of it; as the sickness is going, sleeping is becoming harder for her - something to do with the pelvis shifting to make room for kiddo.

We made our Top Ten for the year, and top of the list was "healthy baby." Does the will-it-be-OK fear ever go away? At birth, I guess. Several male friends with new babies have been outstanding in their offers of you-can-talk-to-me stuff. It's a rare thing to find people who can listen to your drivel and still go out for a beer with you.

Pregnant blokes, I salute you!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blokes-Guide-Pregnancy-Jon-Smith/dp/140190288X/sr=1-1/qid=1169557915/ref=sr_1_1/202-7962260-3967869?ie=UTF8&s=books

The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy

Ok, I haven't actually read any of these books....

The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy and The Bloke's 100 Top Tips for Surviving Pregnancy look mildly interesting, as does The Bloke's Guide to Baby Gadgets (all by Jon Smith; he certainly cranks them out). You might also try Fatherhood: The Truth (Marcus Berkmann) and From Lad to Dad: How to Survive as a Pregnant Father (Stephen Giles).

Unfortunately, all these books have the same childish approach to typography and stupid front cover art, presumably on the grounds that it will be the woman that buys the book and therefore the design must fit with chick-lit.

Let's have a Pregnant Bloke book with a tired shed on the cover, or perhaps a diagram describing the inner workings of a Maxwell engine.