Sex during pregnancy? Not so far! Her boobs hurt, her belly hurts, her back hurts and she's not sleeping too well.
Correspondingly, I am having the most lurid dreams sleeping like, well, a baby. Any advances I make are firmly rebuffed.
Not that I mind. I worry about anything - anything - that might harm the pregnancy or the baby. It took us a year before she fell pregnant, and I'm buggered (probably not the best choice of word) if we'll risk anything at this stage.
And shagged out she is. By about 3pm she is utterly knackered, and all she wants to do is sleep. Not helped by going off food, retching and being unable to sleep even when she is tired.
It's not difficult for me, it must be terrible for her. And it's not like having a broken arm where she gets any sympathy from me, and in any case we have promised ourselves that we will tell no-one about that we're having a baby until the first scan.
Am at least getting the hang of the terminology: first trimester, second trimester, third trimester, bingo!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Cravings
I'll come back to this again, I am sure: cravings.
So far, she has had little by way of cravings for strange foods, and when she does, I find it hard to take seriously.
Unfortunately, being pregnant at this stage is impossible to detect from where I am (does she look pregnant? not really) and I take everything at her word - sore breasts, pains in the fanny etc.
She is a vegetarian, and suddenly wants to eat chicken. OK, a sure sign that something's up.
So far, she has had little by way of cravings for strange foods, and when she does, I find it hard to take seriously.
Unfortunately, being pregnant at this stage is impossible to detect from where I am (does she look pregnant? not really) and I take everything at her word - sore breasts, pains in the fanny etc.
She is a vegetarian, and suddenly wants to eat chicken. OK, a sure sign that something's up.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Scan
OK, so now I know how the scan stuff is arranged.
The doc sent a letter off to the local maternity service (at St George's Hospital) and hey presto a letter comes back to us with the details fo the first scan.
It's fairly straightforward, and the lettter, remarkably, is written in fairly clear English rather than officialese. I'm impressed. Our scan is for between Christmas and New year, in week 12 (I think, remember to count in weeks!).
We also have another letter with details of the midwifery servce with a number to call to arrange a visit.
Pretty good.
Underneath it all, I am close to panic: will the baby be OK, will we make it to full term, will she be OK... The future is RUSHING towards me.
The doc sent a letter off to the local maternity service (at St George's Hospital) and hey presto a letter comes back to us with the details fo the first scan.
It's fairly straightforward, and the lettter, remarkably, is written in fairly clear English rather than officialese. I'm impressed. Our scan is for between Christmas and New year, in week 12 (I think, remember to count in weeks!).
We also have another letter with details of the midwifery servce with a number to call to arrange a visit.
Pretty good.
Underneath it all, I am close to panic: will the baby be OK, will we make it to full term, will she be OK... The future is RUSHING towards me.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Pregnant Bloke: Craving
We're into week six, and she's generally feeling tired. She says her stomach hurts, is permanently tired, and is mostly a grumpy bugger. Try as I might, I'm finding it hard to deal with.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Grumpy doc, grumpy dad
The doc, besides being supercilious and knowing much more than we did, confirmed the date as 10 July, and gave us a fistful of forms to complete.
Turns out that the medics say that full term is 40 weeks from the date of the last period, two weeks either side.
Translated, this means that they don't know either. It's between 38 and 42 weeks from the last period.
All I can say is I hate this. We have agreed not to tell anyone until after the first scan (how do we find out or arrange that I wonder?), which means not until Christmas.
As I see it, that means all the pain - morning sickness for her, tiredness, sudden need for food - and none of the pleasure of being able to tell people, or, really, enjoy the idea of a child on the way. Arse.
Turns out that the medics say that full term is 40 weeks from the date of the last period, two weeks either side.
Translated, this means that they don't know either. It's between 38 and 42 weeks from the last period.
All I can say is I hate this. We have agreed not to tell anyone until after the first scan (how do we find out or arrange that I wonder?), which means not until Christmas.
As I see it, that means all the pain - morning sickness for her, tiredness, sudden need for food - and none of the pleasure of being able to tell people, or, really, enjoy the idea of a child on the way. Arse.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Time for the doc
First thing, it turns out, is a visit to the doc and (a) she wants me to come along and (b) she has a blood test to confirm it officially, so we can get the free prescriptions and dentistry etc.
Well, I'd never thought of all this. I kind of assumed that it was a personal thing, having a baby, but the state is in there right away.
And sure enough, it means booking time off work, because the doc appointment is at 2pm, which is a fat lot of good. And No, there is no other appointment etc etc.
In my bones, I know that I will have to get used to this... on the other hand, already I find it an imposition. How crazy is that?
Well, I'd never thought of all this. I kind of assumed that it was a personal thing, having a baby, but the state is in there right away.
And sure enough, it means booking time off work, because the doc appointment is at 2pm, which is a fat lot of good. And No, there is no other appointment etc etc.
In my bones, I know that I will have to get used to this... on the other hand, already I find it an imposition. How crazy is that?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Pregnant Bloke: Week One - or not
An exciting week, seeing the world with new eyes. All I can think about is how things will be...
One of the first things to emerge is that there seems to be no agreed way of defining the number of weeks for a pregnancy. What seemed to be Week One to me (ie, the first week when we knew for sure) turns out to be either Week Five or Week Three, depending on which book you read and how you count.
Broadly, most books say 42 weeks from the day after the last period (I think this is called LOP, dunno why). Some books count from day 15 after the last period, sometimes allowing 40 weeks and sometimes 42.
In our case, it looks like 12 July for the EDD (Expected Date of Delivery - oh yes, pregnancy is full of acronyms).
Bafflingly, if you count 10 weeks backwards from the LOP date (ie, 52 weeks less ten weeks = 42 weeks), you arrive at a different EDD completely.
Summer baby. Good enough for me.
One of the first things to emerge is that there seems to be no agreed way of defining the number of weeks for a pregnancy. What seemed to be Week One to me (ie, the first week when we knew for sure) turns out to be either Week Five or Week Three, depending on which book you read and how you count.
Broadly, most books say 42 weeks from the day after the last period (I think this is called LOP, dunno why). Some books count from day 15 after the last period, sometimes allowing 40 weeks and sometimes 42.
In our case, it looks like 12 July for the EDD (Expected Date of Delivery - oh yes, pregnancy is full of acronyms).
Bafflingly, if you count 10 weeks backwards from the LOP date (ie, 52 weeks less ten weeks = 42 weeks), you arrive at a different EDD completely.
Summer baby. Good enough for me.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Guy Fawkes
We're used to having friends and family round - often, and lots of them. For Guy Fawkes we had around 30 people, including children, and fed them with beans and baked spuds.
Big mistake.
By about 8pm, she was totally knackered. Not just tired, or feeling that she was running around for everyone - I mean absolutely flat battery.
She gets completely zonked if she doesn't watch it. The early warning signs are grumpiness and desire for food that she is too tired to do anything about.
Hard to deal with. What's this person, normally full of energy, doing crashing out at 3pm?
Keep telling myself, she's not making it up. But for God's sake, she's only one week pregnant, by my reckoning, or five weeks by the book. Can it really be this bad?
Big mistake.
By about 8pm, she was totally knackered. Not just tired, or feeling that she was running around for everyone - I mean absolutely flat battery.
She gets completely zonked if she doesn't watch it. The early warning signs are grumpiness and desire for food that she is too tired to do anything about.
Hard to deal with. What's this person, normally full of energy, doing crashing out at 3pm?
Keep telling myself, she's not making it up. But for God's sake, she's only one week pregnant, by my reckoning, or five weeks by the book. Can it really be this bad?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
How to argue when pregnant
We hardly ever argue, and even when we do, we patch up quickly. We have both completed The Landmark Forum up to and including the Self-Expression and Leadership Program: www.landmarkeducation.com, and in general we apologise, kiss and make up.
From a standing start, she can now produce a major-league, all-out strop within seconds. One moment having people round for Guy Fawkes is a Top Idea, the next moment it's a Very Bad Plan, and will be a Disaster, will go Horribly Wrong, and was a Silly Idea. My friends smell. Who's going to cook? Naughty Bad and Wrong.
Fortunately I don't give a toss, because (a) they are coming and (b) it will be fine, it always is. In the mean time, it's fireworks.
From a standing start, she can now produce a major-league, all-out strop within seconds. One moment having people round for Guy Fawkes is a Top Idea, the next moment it's a Very Bad Plan, and will be a Disaster, will go Horribly Wrong, and was a Silly Idea. My friends smell. Who's going to cook? Naughty Bad and Wrong.
Fortunately I don't give a toss, because (a) they are coming and (b) it will be fine, it always is. In the mean time, it's fireworks.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Omerta - or purdah
It's a curious thing finding out that your wife is pregnant after a year of 'trying.'
During the year, we have come up with thousands of ways of saying Get Stuffed to the myriad questions about having children. There's a constant undertone in the questioning of 'maybe they can't' and 'perhaps something's wrong.' And now it turns out that we are having a baby, it's an even bigger pain not to be able to tell anyone until the the first scan (in about twelve weeks).
I promise never to ask another couple again whether they plan to have children, or, worse, if they are 'trying.'
During the year, we have come up with thousands of ways of saying Get Stuffed to the myriad questions about having children. There's a constant undertone in the questioning of 'maybe they can't' and 'perhaps something's wrong.' And now it turns out that we are having a baby, it's an even bigger pain not to be able to tell anyone until the the first scan (in about twelve weeks).
I promise never to ask another couple again whether they plan to have children, or, worse, if they are 'trying.'
Thursday, November 02, 2006
We're having a baby
We're having a baby, she's pregnant. It's like a constant tape playing in my head when I walk to work. How will my life be?
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