After about 20 seconds you can't imagine them being called anything else!

Names advice...

The problem with names is manifold:

1 there is always someone that you know with a child of the same that you like - you just need to put that problem to bed and move on
2 at our age you will always have known someone that bugged you who has the same name as the name that your wife likes - as 1 above unless they committed some mortal sin against you
3 coming from different ethnic/cultural/language backgrounds causes a problem for boys names - I liked George, Harry, Tom etc ...my wife liked Deniz, Tagmac, Eirol and others - all of which I explained would be ammunition for that feral zone that we know as the "playground"
4 girls names for some reason pose less of a problem as I felt much more inclined towards the exotic - ayla, emine, eyasmine etc

In the end we were writing a birthday card to a friend to whom we always signed off as "love M+M" and thought why don't we have another M? Maximilian - meaning exalted leader was the only one that we really liked and didn't have too many issues in either language.

In the end you give them a name and after about 20 seconds you can't imagine them being called anything else!

This feels like the longest pregnancy in the world - how can she only be 6m?????

Now there's an underused name

The pummelling continues from within. What was a source of joy is rapidly becoming a nuisance. How quickly we fall out of love with even our children to-be.

In a recent limp attempt at humour, I threatened a supplier with kidnapping his children until he was able to deliver on time. "You can 'ave 'em," he said, and I don't think he was joking. One of them is named after me. (OK, unfortunately shares the same mark of Cain as me.)

Hey: Cain. Now there's an underused name...

Back to the drawing board

Acting on advice from Comments Received (click below), I have scanned my spam for suitable names. My top choices are Friend; Endoknow (no I don't); Vi.1.gra (and many variations thereof); Womens Pain (aaiiiee); Rewards Galore (I quite like that...) and Stud.

OK, enough already. Back to the drawing board.

Moon Unit and the Berk Test

Trevor, four-month Dad, reckons on having Critical Tests for a baby's name. I particularly like the first one, the Berk Test:

Would you feel like a berk shouting it across the park?
How does it sound when you are scolding?
Will it work for a teenage lover?
How will it sound for a pensioner?

Frank Zappa's famously named daughter has grown tired of her Moon Unit moniker, and has, I hear, decided on something more prosaic... she's gone for Moon Zappa. Both style and class in one name, I feel.

If we can't have Moon Unit, how about Uranus?

Maybe not.

Visit http://www.zappa.com/ I remember him as Zappa the Crapper.

Horsetrading, not whispering

This entry prompted by Bill's comment (following). If I could find out how to show comments, I would, as they are much more interesting than the twaddle I write in the first place:

"How are you doing re names? All very quiet on that front. I was keen on 'Jordan' for my daughter, but this was subject to the wife's veto. We had an arrangement where each partner could provide short list of 6 names, and had 3 vetos; what was left was then subject to the usual horse trading. If you're short of inspiration, I'm always impressed by the variety of sender names that fill up my spam inbox. Pleased to hear the gun emplacement is coming along. "

I'll Name That Child in One

Struggling with the Naming Convention for the Toblet(te). The plan is to go for a crossover culture fusion type deal, which puts Jonathan Charles Edward Cholmondely on the back burner. As for Jordan Myleen Beyoncé - well, they never even made it to the cooker.

What about politicians: Bliar? Cameroon? Ming? Or sportspeople: Monty? Denise? Fatima? Perhaps we should go for political geography, like India, China or Tjadzikhistan. Or location of conception, somewhat like the Beckhams with a twist: not so much Brooklyn, more Uterus.

A friend, Regina, is plagued by people misremembering her name, saying to her, "Don't tell me, it starts with a V," and she interrupts them quickly.

Football baby

The Toblet (snappy name, huh?) is due on 8 July - no chance of being a footballer, then: http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-6754773_ITM