On being the right size

Apparently Toblet is now about twelve ounces. One and a half packs of butter. If he or she hits a fairly standard eight pounds at birth, that's a staggering ten-fold increase in weight in the next 20 weeks. (In new money, 360g becomes 3.6kg)

I weigh 200lb (91kg); the comparative growth rate would be reaching slightly less than a ton (910kg) in twenty weeks, adding an average of 90lb (41kg) a week. The world's heaviest person, Jon Brower Minnoch, weighed in at a feeble 1,400lb (635kg).

Pic of Jon Brower Minnoch from http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/kjn/people/heaviest.htm There's something on the web for everyone, I guess.

As you were, as you were

OK, set the scene: total panic because the baby has not kicked since yesterday morning. And, in a magnificent display of indecision, we did not go to the hospital in the evening, and instead persuaded ourselves that if there were no kicks this morning, we would call the hospital first thing.

Sure enough, we did not sleep a wink all night. Panic is a marvellous insomniac.

First thing today we called the midwife team. Our assigned midwife gives a mobile number, which she turns on from 7.30am until (from memory) 5.30pm. Except that she does not work every day, reasonably enough, and the voicemail message does not say if the mobile is off because she is busy, or off because she has the day off.

Switch to plan B: call the hospital midwife team, from 8.00am. After calling and calling and calling, they answer and say "Drink a glass of water and come in," which Priti understands to be the equivalent of "calm down dear."

We go to St George's.

The midwife there, Carlene, is *excellent* and explains that "drink a glass of water" actually meant "drink a glass of water," as this should wake the baby - and it might kick.

Instead, Carlene found the baby's heartbeat, we were immediately happy, and - guess what? Yup, Toblet The Bump starts kicking like Eric Cantona.

Little bugger.

Panic over, as you were, as you were

Worried

Toblet has kicked only once today, this morning, and nothing since. Worried now.

Cots, buggies and nappies

John & Miriam, expecting their first, made the point that they find the 'definitive kit list' hard to come by.

Plenty of the books have their versions. Where is The List, I wonder?

EASY feeding before birth?

It is quite clear that there is a link not only between PP's need for food but also the baby kicking.

The EASY theory of baby routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Your time) says that after feeding, the baby should be active before sleep. There is no question that Toblet kicks like a mule after Priti eats, which I guess corresponds to Activity.

What I wonder is, if PP were to follow the EASY routine - or at least the EAS part of it) before d-day, then would he or she follow the EASY routine more, well, easily?

EASY is from The Baby Whisperer: http://www.babywhisperer.com/

Something in the water

My co-director David & wife Emily are having their second child, roughly six weeks after us; good friends John & wife Miriam are having their first child, roughly three weeks after us, as are equally good friends Nusrat & Taher, at the same time as us.

Is there something in the water? At it like rabbits? I think we should be told.

Laying on of hands

This morning I felt the first kick - enough to make me think "what's that?" before I realised what was happening! Very exciting. It will probably take much more laying on of hands before I feel it again, as we are still only 20 weeks.

To add to the excitement, a co-director at work is expecting his second child a few weeks after Toblet arrives, and a friend has announced that they are at 17 weeks, so it's all go.

And finally, in Priti's yoga class one of the women is 40 weeks, and another has a young baby that cooked for 44 weeks. Good grief.

World's smallest baby: less than a pack of butter

The world's smallest premature baby has been released from hospital. Born by caesarian section at 26 weeks, she weighed just 8.6 oz or 243g. A standard pack of butter weighs 250g.

Priti could not bear to look at the pictures. We are at 20 weeks.

Google for "World's smallest baby" or try this link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6742983/

On being the right size

Depending on which book you read and how many weeks they count, Toblet is around 320g, covered in brown greasy goo to stop it shrinking in the wash, and growing fast.

I peeked ahead in one of the books. In ten weeks from now, 30 weeks, the baby will be more than three times heavier at over 1kg.

Unbelievable.

Try reading J B S Haldane, "On being the right size," found at http://irl.cs.ucla.edu/papers/right-size.html

Wanna see some bumps?

This is how a proper text-book picture of pregnancy should look: the kind of cut-out-and-keep, sanitized diagram I grew up with in biology books (this pic from http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/20weeks/).

Priti is definitely feeling kicks now - no question at all. Try as I might, I cannot feel any movement from the outside, short of having a hand clamped to her belly all night. She is *much* bumpier than the illustration here. Stuffed in there somewhere is a Toblet of 16cm (6") ish.

Wanna see some bumps? Try http://pregnancy.about.com/od/pregnancyphotos/ig/2005-Pregnant-Belly-Gallery/

Got the builders in

How many building projects start when the woman is pregnant? How strong is the nesting instinct, that it overrides all the fears of dust, noise and disruption?

Got the builders in.

Parentcraft is not taught, instruction is generally resented, and success relies on instinct

Frustratingly unable to tell if I can feel the kicks inside or not. Priti now definitely feels movement, and even reckons she can tell which way round the baby is lying.

All the books and blurbs say that now is the time to start acquiring the kit - the cots, pushchairs and playpens, not to mention the nappies, bottles and clothes. A colleague remarked that having children is still one of life's great experiments. Parentcraft is not taught, instruction is generally resented, and success relies on instinct.

Must must must read the dang books...

Definite flutterings

Nineteen weeks, the baby is 16cm or so from butt to brain, and I am actually starting to read the books (despite the childish cover designs). Priti is now unmistakably pregnant, even when swaddled against cold weather. Amusingly, the bump now means that she is unable to bend over to clip her toenails.

Definite flutterings: Priti can quite clearly feel the kicks, though I cannot from outside.

Hubris, anyone?

Our confidence is clearly growing: Priti has a visit to the doc without me. It's just routine. No problem, I don't need to be there. Yeah yeah, we're used to this now.

Hubris, anyone?

Bye-bye freedom, hello cots, playpens, pushchairs

Thanks to a generous younger sister and brother-in-law, whose three boys are now beyond cots, playpens and pushchairs, we are proud owners of same. With the clobber cluttering up the car boot on the way back and now in component parts resting in the hallway, we seem to have made a significant step towards familydom.

In fact, driving back with all the clutter bouncing around, I found myself thinking, "Do I really want to do this. Bye-bye freedom to do as I please, hello faffing around with car seats, school uniforms and teenagers?"

Now this really is hitting home.

Some things are best left to women

Modern understanding of pregnancy and birth is a wonderful thing. There are fewer birth defects and illnesses, abnormalities are detected at a very early age... and we know waaaay too much about, er, women's bits.

Vaginal secretions. Now there's a phrase to silence the pub.

Probably very important, much like the temperature of the sun or the name of the Pope. And like both of the latter, I can do sod all about it except stand in bemused fascination.

Some things are best left to women.

Cord blood banking

Check this out... http://www.wdxcyber.com/Cordblood_home.html

Gina Ford - I like your style

Have started reading Contented Little Baby book by Gina Ford (seen here looking very lovely), and, credit where it's due, the book is pretty darn good.

For a start, it's written in a no-nonsense style, full of her own prejudices and judgements, which she cheerfully acknowledges. Plus, it covers all the basics in terms of kit to buy (cots, sheets, nappies, mattresses) and what you can avoid shelling out on.

Ms Ford has written ten books, I think, so she certainly pops them out. Apparently she has not had kids of her own. Does that matter? You may scold a carpenter who has made you a bad table, though you cannot make a table. It is not your trade to make tables.

Gina Ford and Contented Little Baby is at http://www.contentedbaby.com/index.htm

Pregnancy wreaks havoc on the female body

How on earth has the human population managed to reach 8 billion? "Pregnancy wreaks havoc on the female body" is from http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/health/2000/pregnancy/default.stm How cheerful.

You can read the whole sorry farrago at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4121411.stm

Menstuff

This looked like an interesting site - until you actually get there: http://www.menstuff.org

Tooling around on the internet looking for pregnant bloke type things, most of the hits are for Jon Smith's "Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy." Good for him. Still haven't read it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blokes-Guide-Pregnancy-Jon-Smith/dp/140190288X

Football baby

The Toblet (snappy name, huh?) is due on 8 July - no chance of being a footballer, then: http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-6754773_ITM

Almost half time

It has just struck us that at 18 weeks (today), we're almost at half time. The next scan is just around the corner, and we might soon be able to feel the kicks inside!

For me, it's all a bit unreal. I'm used to Priti being pregnant, she's getting bigger, sexier and more womanly by the minute - and suddenly KLANG! The result of this will be a baby!

The realisation has hit home in part because we have had Asha, Andy and Maya staying for the weekend, and it all becomes very real. The schedule is set by eating and sleeping, and in between we squeeze in what we want to do. Not that it is particularly arduous; Maya is an easy baby. The difference is, it's relentless.

I have absolutely no doubt that this is right for us. We both want children. I do have worries about being an Old Dad, that's all.

Almost half time. No turning back.

PS: The picture is Gina Ford, though not all of her...

Bringing up Baby

Am gradually reading up on the theory of Bringing Up Baby - not this one www.imdb.com/title/tt0029947/ but this one http://www.contentedbaby.com/ and this one http://www.babywhisperer.com/

Despite what seems to be a right-way-wrong-way contest between the two, they seem similar to me. Or am I being too male about it? Basically, they both say something like "There are three secrets to having a happy baby and happy parents: routine, routine, routine."

Tricky, huh?

Little kicks inside and Squeeze

We're waiting for the first little kicks inside. While we wait, go visit http://www.squeezefan.com/ or better still, listen to 'Up the junction' (which I think is from Cool for Cats, but I started with the first LP (good grief) and that's what you see here. Squeeze. Proper music, eh?

Definitely unmistakeably pregnant

One curio that came up in Pregnancy Yoga, apparently, is pelvic ache. The bones stretching and shifting caused by pregnancy is encouraged by relaxin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relaxin), and it ain't all easy.

The ache is partly what keeps her awake at night. The leader of the Pregnancy Yoga class helpfully pointed out that it is a common occurrence...not that there is anything to be done about it.

Besides bending and flexing, Priti also gets to meet other pregnant women, at various stages. At 17 weeks, she is definitely unmistakeably pregnant - waaaay more so than even a week ago - and compared with people at a similar stage is huge. At this rate, she'll be the size of the house.