The Health Visitor Calls

Our assigned Health Visitor, Tara, pitched up today. A qualified nurse with nine years' experience on children's wards, Tara tried to explain what health visiting is, what she does, why, and the benefits. Tara is very friendly and it's good to see my taxes keeping her in employment. She was very positive about the home birth idea, and gave us lots of leaflets. Gosh.

No doubt I will sing a different tune at the first mild rash or touch of cradle cap.

I looked on the web for the Health Visitors' Association, and instead stumbled, or possibly stuttered, across http://www.stammering.org/. They even have ggggguest sssssspeakers at ccccconferences.

JJJohnny HHHammer, had a ttttterrible ssssstammer
He ccccccould hhhhhardly say a wwwwword
And so they ggggave him, mmmedicinal ccccccompound
Now he's seen, but never heard ...

Oh Yes.

Lyrics from http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/ once again.

Home or Away?

The Great Home or Away debate continues to rage. Statistically it is slightly safer having a baby at home - though who gives a stuff for statistics when it's your child? Odds of thousands-to-one become 50:50 when it comes to a single instance. So far, it's Home. If things go Pete Tong, we can always rush to the hospital. By crikey I'm brave.

Home or Away? Number One, please David. http://www.petetong.com/ and http://www.itsallgonepetetong.com/, by the way.

Entonox: a 50:50 mix of nitrous oxide and oxygen

The advantages of a home birth are becoming clearer... familiar surroundings, dedicated midwives and no rush to hospital. And another key advantage? Early supplies of entonox (gas & air).

Despite copious quantities of raspberry leaf tea laid up in preparation, no-one can predict d-day, which means the kit for home birth is delivered to the house two weeks early. Does this include a can of entonox? I think a pregnant bloke should be told.